its crazy to think most people think i'm happy as can be and have the prefect life.... all they see is my bubbly presonality and bright and shining smile...but from the outside looking in.... i want i totally different life style... i want to be happy and free...i want to chat online at internet cafes... meet rad people while drinking coffee.... i want to watch local rock bands and party... but not drink or smoke... i want to go on the mission field and not hear the laughs of friends and family behind... but the cheers of those who want me to do this! i want freedom... i want to become older... but stay younge looking..... and do the things i enjoy most... i want kick boxing, bellydancing, and yoga... i want to writepoems, paint journal ride my bike around and cook huge meals... i want to entertain.... host parties and life groups... i want all my friends to understand me and i want friends like me... i want friends who day dream all the time... but always come back to reality... i want to feel wanted... i want to be needed... i want people to come to me when theyre feeling upset... i want to give advice and i want people to follow it...... i want to fall in lust.... and be broken.... then i want to find my true love.... i want travel to africa and mexico on missiontrips... but i alsowant to travel trough europe eationg bread and drinking wine.... i want to love and lose... i want so much... i want to drive and date and go to college, be in the army, i want to work at keva juice.... but most of all i want you to stop judging me for all i want and start loving me for all i have to offer.....love always..... me.....